| 1 I WANDER all night in my vision, |
|
Stepping with light feet, swiftly and noiselessly step-
ping and stopping, |
|
Bending with open eyes over the shut eyes of
sleepers, |
|
Wandering and confused, lost to myself, ill-assorted,
contradictory, |
| Pausing, gazing, bending, and stopping. |
| 2 How solemn they look there, stretched and still! |
|
How quiet they breathe, the little children in their
cradles! |
|
3
The wretched features of ennuyés, the white features
of corpses, the livid faces of drunkards, the sick- gray faces of onanists, |
|
The gashed bodies on battle-fields, the insane in their
strong-doored rooms, the sacred idiots, the new- born emerging from gates, and the dying emer- ging from gates, |
| The night pervades them and infolds them. |
|
4
The married couple sleep calmly in their bed—he
with his palm on the hip of the wife, and she with her palm on the hip of the husband, |
| The sisters sleep lovingly side by side in their bed, |
| The men sleep lovingly side by side in theirs, |
|
And the mother sleeps, with her little child carefully
wrapped. |
| 5 The blind sleep, and the deaf and dumb sleep, |
|
The prisoner sleeps well in the prison—the run-
away son sleeps, |
|
The murderer that is to be hung next day—how
does he sleep? |
| And the murdered person—how does he sleep? |
| 6 The female that loves unrequited sleeps, |
| And the male that loves unrequited sleeps, |
|
The head of the money-maker that plotted all day
sleeps, |
|
And the enraged and treacherous dispositions—
all, all sleep. |
|
7
I stand in the dark with drooping eyes by the worst-
suffering and the most restless, |
|
I pass my hands soothingly to and fro a few inches
from them, |
| The restless sink in their beds—they fitfully sleep. |
| 8 Now I pierce the darkness—new beings appear, |
| The earth recedes from me into the night, |
|
I saw that it was beautiful, and I see that what is not
the earth is beautiful. |
|
9
I go from bedside to bedside—I sleep close with
the other sleepers, each in turn, |
|
I dream in my dream all the dreams of the other
dreamers, |
| And I become the other dreamers. |
|
10
I am a dance—Play up, there! the fit is whirling
me fast! |
| 11 I am the ever-laughing—it is new moon and twilight, |
|
I see the hiding of douceurs—I see nimble ghosts
whichever way I look, |
|
Cache, and cache again, deep in the ground and sea,
and where it is neither ground or sea. |
| 12 Well do they do their jobs, those journeymen divine, |
|
Only from me can they hide nothing, and would not
if they could, |
|
I reckon I am their boss, and they make me a pet
besides, |
|
And surround me and lead me, and run ahead when
I walk, |
|
To lift their cunning covers, to signify me with
stretched arms, and resume the way; |
|
Onward we move! a gay gang of blackguards! with
mirth-shouting music and wild-flapping pennants of joy! |
| 13 I am the actor, the actress, the voter, the politician, |
|
The emigrant and the exile, the criminal that stood
in the box, |
|
He who has been famous, and he who shall be famous
after to-day, |
|
The stammerer, the well-formed person, the wasted
or feeble person. |
|
14
I am she who adorned herself and folded her hair
expectantly, |
| My truant lover has come, and it is dark. |
| 15 Double yourself and receive me, darkness! |
|
Receive me and my lover too—he will not let me go
without him. |
|
16
I roll myself upon you, as upon a bed—I resign
myself to the dusk. |
|
17
He whom I call answers me and takes the place of
my lover, |
| He rises with me silently from the bed. |
|
18
Darkness! you are gentler than my lover—his flesh
was sweaty and panting, |
| I feel the hot moisture yet that he left me. |
|
19
My hands are spread forth, I pass them in all
directions, |
|
I would sound up the shadowy shore to which you
are journeying. |
|
20
Be careful, darkness! already, what was it touched
me? |
|
I thought my lover had gone, else darkness and he
are one, |
| I hear the heart-beat—I follow, I fade away. |
| 21 O hot-cheeked and blushing! O foolish hectic! |
|
O for pity's sake, no one must see me now! my
clothes were stolen while I was abed, |
| Now I am thrust forth, where shall I run? |
|
22
Pier that I saw dimly last night, when I looked from
the windows! |
|
Pier out from the main, let me catch myself with you
and stay—I will not chafe you, |
| I feel ashamed to go naked about the world. |
|
23
I am curious to know where my feet stand—and
what this is flooding me, childhood or manhood —and the hunger that crosses the bridge between. |
| 24 The cloth laps a first sweet eating and drinking, |
|
Laps life-swelling yolks—laps ear of rose-corn, milky
and just ripened; |
|
The white teeth stay, and the boss-tooth advances in
darkness, |
|
And liquor is spilled on lips and bosoms by touching
glasses, and the best liquor afterward. |
| 25 I descend my western course, my sinews are flaccid, |
|
Perfume and youth course through me, and I am
their wake. |
|
26
It is my face yellow and wrinkled, instead of the
old woman's, |
|
I sit low in a straw-bottom chair, and carefully darn
my grandson's stockings. |
|
27
It is I too, the sleepless widow looking out on the
winter midnight, |
|
I see the sparkles of starshine on the icy and pallid
earth. |
|
28
A shroud I see, and I am the shroud—I wrap a body
and lie in the coffin, |
|
It is dark here under ground—it is not evil or pain
here—it is blank here, for reasons. |
|
29
It seems to me that everything in the light and air
ought to be happy, |
|
Whoever is not in his coffin and the dark grave, let
him know he has enough. |
|
30
I see a beautiful gigantic swimmer swimming naked
through the eddies of the sea, |
|
His brown hair lies close and even to his head—
he strikes out with courageous arms—he urges himself with his legs, |
| I see his white body—I see his undaunted eyes, |
|
I hate the swift-running eddies that would dash him
head-foremost on the rocks. |
| 31 What are you doing, you ruffianly red-trickled waves? |
|
Will you kill the courageous giant? Will you kill
him in the prime of his middle age? |
| 32 Steady and long he struggles, |
|
He is baffled, banged, bruised—he holds out while
his strength holds out, |
|
The slapping eddies are spotted with his blood—
they bear him away—they roll him, swing him, turn him, |
|
His beautiful body is borne in the circling eddies,
it is continually bruised on rocks, |
| Swiftly and out of sight is borne the brave corpse. |
| 33 I turn, but do not extricate myself, |
|
Confused, a past-reading, another, but with darkness
yet. |
|
34
The beach is cut by the razory ice-wind—the wreck-
guns sound, |
|
The tempest lulls—the moon comes floundering
through the drifts. |
|
35
I look where the ship helplessly heads end on—I
hear the burst as she strikes—I hear the howls of dismay—they grow fainter and fainter. |
| 36 I cannot aid with my wringing fingers, |
|
I can but rush to the surf, and let it drench me and
freeze upon me. |
|
37
I search with the crowd—not one of the company is
washed to us alive; |
|
In the morning I help pick up the dead and lay them
in rows in a barn. |
| 38 Now of the old war-days, the defeat at Brooklyn, |
|
Washington stands inside the lines—he stands on the
intrenched hills, amid a crowd of officers, |
|
His face is cold and damp—he cannot repress the
weeping drops, |
|
He lifts the glass perpetually to his eyes—the color
is blanched from his cheeks, |
|
He sees the slaughter of the southern braves confided
to him by their parents. |
| 39 The same, at last and at last, when peace is declared, |
|
He stands in the room of the old tavern—the well-
beloved soldiers all pass through, |
|
The officers speechless and slow draw near in their
turns, |
|
The chief encircles their necks with his arm, and
kisses them on the cheek, |
|
He kisses lightly the wet cheeks one after another—
he shakes hands, and bids good-by to the army. |
|
40
Now I tell what my mother told me to-day as we sat
at dinner together, |
|
Of when she was a nearly grown girl, living home
with her parents on the old homestead. |
|
41
A red squaw came one breakfast-time to the old
homestead, |
|
On her back she carried a bundle of rushes for
rush-bottoming chairs, |
|
Her hair, straight, shiny, coarse, black, profuse, half-
enveloped her face, |
|
Her step was free and elastic, and her voice sounded
exquisitely as she spoke. |
|
42
My mother looked in delight and amazement at the
stranger, |
|
She looked at the freshness of her tall-borne face, and
full and pliant limbs, |
| The more she looked upon her she loved her, |
|
Never before had she seen such wonderful beauty and
purity, |
|
She made her sit on a bench by the jamb of the fire-
place—she cooked food for her, |
|
She had no work to give her, but she gave her
remembrance and fondness. |
|
43
The red squaw staid all the forenoon, and toward the
middle of the afternoon she went away, |
| O my mother was loth to have her go away! |
|
All the week she thought of her—she watched for
her many a month, |
|
She remembered her many a winter and many a
summer, |
|
But the red squaw never came, nor was heard of
there again. |
|
44
Now Lucifer was not dead—or if he was, I am his
sorrowful terrible heir, |
|
I have been wronged—I am oppressed—I hate him
that oppresses me, |
| I will either destroy him, or he shall release me. |
| 45 Damn him! how he does defile me! |
|
How he informs against my brother and sister, and
takes pay for their blood! |
|
How he laughs when I look down the bend, after the
steamboat that carries away my woman! |
|
46
Now the vast dusk bulk that is the whale's bulk, it
seems mine, |
|
Warily, sportsman! though I lie so sleepy and slug-
gish, my tap is death. |
|
47
A show of the summer softness! a contact of some-
thing unseen! an amour of the light and air! |
| I am jealous, and overwhelmed with friendliness, |
| And will go gallivant with the light and air myself, |
|
And have an unseen something to be in contact with
them also. |
|
48
O love and summer! you are in the dreams, and
in me! |
|
Autumn and winter are in the dreams—the farmer
goes with his thrift, |
|
The droves and crops increase, and the barns are well-
filled. |
|
49
Elements merge in the night—ships make tacks in
the dreams, |
| The sailor sails—the exile returns home, |
|
The fugitive returns unharmed—the immigrant is
back beyond months and years, |
|
The poor Irishman lives in the simple house of his
childhood, with the well-known neighbors and faces, |
|
They warmly welcome him—he is barefoot again, he
forgets he is well off; |
|
The Dutchman voyages home, and the Scotchman
and Welshman voyage home, and the native of the Mediterranean voyages home, |
|
To every port of England, France, Spain, enter well-
filled ships, |
|
The Swiss foots it toward his hills—the Prussian goes
his way, the Hungarian his way, and the Pole his way, |
|
The Swede returns, and the Dane and Norwegian
return. |
| 50 The homeward bound, and the outward bound, |
|
The beautiful lost swimmer, the ennuyé, the onanist,
the female that loves unrequited, the money- maker, |
|
The actor and actress, those through with their parts,
and those waiting to commence, |
|
The affectionate boy, the husband and wife, the voter,
the nominee that is chosen, and the nominee that has failed, |
|
The great already known, and the great any time
after to-day, |
|
The stammerer, the sick, the perfect-formed, the
homely, |
|
The criminal that stood in the box, the judge that
sat and sentenced him, the fluent lawyers, the jury, the audience, |
|
The laugher and weeper, the dancer, the midnight
widow, the red squaw, |
|
The consumptive, the erysipelite, the idiot, he that
is wronged, |
|
The antipodes, and every one between this and them
in the dark, |
|
I swear they are averaged now—one is no better
than the other, |
|
The night and sleep have likened them and restored
them. |
| 51 I swear they are all beautiful! |
|
Every one that sleeps is beautiful—everything in
the dim light is beautiful, |
| The wildest and bloodiest is over, and all is peace. |
| 52 Peace is always beautiful, |
| The myth of heaven indicates peace and night. |
| 53 The myth of heaven indicates the Soul; |
|
The Soul is always beautiful—it appears more or it
appears less—it comes, or it lags behind, |
|
It comes from its embowered garden, and looks
pleasantly on itself, and encloses the world, |
|
Perfect and clean the genitals previously jetting, and
perfect and clean the womb cohering, |
|
The head well-grown, proportioned and plumb, and
the bowels and joints proportioned and plumb. |
| 54 The Soul is always beautiful, |
|
The universe is duly in order, everything is in its
place, |
|
What is arrived is in its place, and what waits is
in its place; |
|
The twisted skull waits, the watery or rotten blood
waits, |
|
The child of the glutton or venerealee waits long, and
the child of the drunkard waits long, and the drunkard himself waits long, |
|
The sleepers that lived and died wait—the far
advanced are to go on in their turns, and the far behind are to go on in their turns, |
|
The diverse shall be no less diverse, but they shall
flow and unite—they unite now. |
| 55 The sleepers are very beautiful as they lie unclothed, |
|
They flow hand in hand over the whole earth, from
east to west, as they lie unclothed, |
|
The Asiatic and African are hand in hand—the
European and American are hand in hand, |
|
Learned and unlearned are hand in hand, and male
and female are hand in hand, |
|
The bare arm of the girl crosses the bare breast of
her lover—they press close without lust—his lips press her neck, |
|
The father holds his grown or ungrown son in his
arms with measureless love, and the son holds the father in his arms with measureless love, |
|
The white hair of the mother shines on the white
wrist of the daughter, |
|
The breath of the boy goes with the breath of the
man, friend is inarmed by friend, |
|
The scholar kisses the teacher, and the teacher kisses
the scholar—the wronged is made right, |
|
The call of the slave is one with the master's call, and
the master salutes the slave, |
|
The felon steps forth from the prison—the insane
becomes sane—the suffering of sick persons is relieved, |
|
The sweatings and fevers stop—the throat that was
unsound is sound—the lungs of the consumptive are resumed—the poor distressed head is free, |
|
The joints of the rheumatic move as smoothly as ever,
and smoother than ever, |
|
Stiflings and passages open—the paralyzed become
supple, |
|
The swelled and convulsed and congested awake to
themselves in condition, |
|
They pass the invigoration of the night, and the
chemistry of the night, and awake. |
| 56 I too pass from the night, |
|
I stay a while away O night, but I return to you
again, and love you. |
| 57 Why should I be afraid to trust myself to you? |
|
I am not afraid—I have been well brought forward
by you, |
|
I love the rich running day, but I do not desert her
in whom I lay so long, |
|
I know not how I came of you, and I know not where
I go with you—but I know I came well, and shall go well. |
|
58
I will stop only a time with the night, and rise
betimes, |
|
I will duly pass the day, O my mother, and duly
return to you. |