The Walt Whitman Archive
Leaves of Grass (1881-82)
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WHOEVER YOU ARE HOLDING ME NOW IN HAND.
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WHOEVER you are holding me now in hand,
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Without one thing all will be useless,
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I give you fair warning before you attempt me further,
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I am not what you supposed, but far different.
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Who is he that would become my follower?
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Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections?
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The way is suspicious, the result uncertain, perhaps destructive,
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You would have to give up all else, I alone would expect to be
your sole and exclusive standard,
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Your novitiate would even then be long and exhausting,
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The whole past theory of your life and all conformity to the lives
around you would have to be abandon'd,
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View Page 98
Therefore release me now before troubling yourself any further, let
go your hand from my shoulders,
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Put me down and depart on your way.
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Or else by stealth in some wood for trial,
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Or back of a rock in the open air,
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(For in any roof'd room of a house I emerge not, nor in com-
pany,
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And in libraries I lie as one dumb, a gawk, or unborn, or dead,)
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But just possibly with you on a high hill, first watching lest any
person for miles around approach unawares,
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Or possibly with you sailing at sea, or on the beach of the sea or
some quiet island,
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Here to put your lips upon mine I permit you,
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With the comrade's long-dwelling kiss or the new husband's kiss,
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For I am the new husband and I am the comrade.
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Or if you will, thrusting me beneath your clothing,
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Where I may feel the throbs of your heart or rest upon your
hip,
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Carry me when you go forth over land or sea;
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For thus merely touching you is enough, is best,
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And thus touching you would I silently sleep and be carried
eternally.
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But these leaves conning you con at peril,
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For these leaves and me you will not understand,
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They will elude you at first and still more afterward, I will
certainly elude you,
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Even while you should think you had unquestionably caught me,
behold!
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Already you see I have escaped from you.
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For it is not for what I have put into it that I have written this
book,
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Nor is it by reading it you will acquire it,
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Nor do those know me best who admire me and vauntingly praise
me,
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Nor will the candidates for my love (unless at most a very few)
prove victorious,
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Nor will my poems do good only, they will do just as much evil,
perhaps more,
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For all is useless without that which you may guess at many times
and not hit, that which I hinted at;
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Therefore release me and depart on your way.
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