| I WANDER all night in my vision, |
|
Stepping with light feet, swiftly and noiselessly stepping and
stopping, |
| Bending with open eyes over the shut eyes of sleepers, |
|
Wandering and confused, lost to myself, ill-assorted, contradic-
tory, |
| Pausing, gazing, bending, and stopping. |
| How solemn they look there, stretch'd and still, |
| How quiet they breathe, the little children in their cradles. |
|
The wretched features of ennuyés, the white features of corpses,
the livid faces of drunkards, the sick-gray faces of onanists, |
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The gash'd bodies on battle-fields, the insane in their strong-door'd
rooms, the sacred idiots, the new-born emerging from gates, and the dying emerging from gates, |
| The night pervades them and infolds them. |
|
The married couple sleep calmly in their bed, he with his palm on
the hip of the wife, and she with her palm on the hip of the husband, |
| The sisters sleep lovingly side by side in their bed, |
| The men sleep lovingly side by side in theirs, |
| And the mother sleeps with her little child carefully wrapt. |
| The blind sleep, and the deaf and dumb sleep, |
| The prisoner sleeps well in the prison, the runaway son sleeps, |
| The murderer that is to be hung next day, how does he sleep? |
| And the murder'd person, how does he sleep? |
| The female that loves unrequited sleeps, |
| And the male that loves unrequited sleeps, |
| The head of the money-maker that plotted all day sleeps, |
| And the enraged and treacherous dispositions, all, all sleep. |
|
I stand in the dark with drooping eyes by the worst-suffering and
the most restless, |
| I pass my hands soothingly to and fro a few inches from them, |
| The restless sink in their beds, they fitfully sleep. |
| Now I pierce the darkness, new beings appear, |
| The earth recedes from me into the night, |
|
I saw that it was beautiful, and I see that what is not the earth is
beautiful. |
|
I go from bedside to bedside, I sleep close with the other sleepers
each in turn, |
| I dream in my dream all the dreams of the other dreamers, |
| And I become the other dreamers. |
| I am a dance—play up there! the fit is whirling me fast! |
| I am the ever-laughing—it is new moon and twilight, |
|
I see the hiding of douceurs, I see nimble ghosts whichever way
I look, |
|
Cache and cache again deep in the ground and sea, and where it
is neither ground nor sea. |
| Well do they do their jobs those journeymen divine, |
| Only from me can they hide nothing, and would not if they could, |
| I reckon I am their boss and they make me a pet besides, |
| And surround me and lead me and run ahead when I walk, |
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To lift their cunning covers to signify me with stretch'd arms, and
resume the way; |
|
Onward we move, a gay gang of blackguards! with mirth-shouting
music and wild-flapping pennants of joy! |
| I am the actor, the actress, the voter, the politician, |
| The emigrant and the exile, the criminal that stood in the box, |
| He who has been famous and he who shall be famous after to-day, |
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The stammerer, the well-form'd person, the wasted or feeble
person. |
| I am she who adorn'd herself and folded her hair expectantly, |
| My truant lover has come, and it is dark. |
| Double yourself and receive me darkness, |
|
Receive me and my lover too, he will not let me go without
him. |
| I roll myself upon you as upon a bed, I resign myself to the dusk. |
| He whom I call answers me and takes the place of my lover, |
| He rises with me silently from the bed. |
|
Darkness, you are gentler than my lover, his flesh was sweaty and
panting, |
| I feel the hot moisture yet that he left me. |
| My hands are spread forth, I pass them in all directions, |
| I would sound up the shadowy shore to which you are journeying. |
| Be careful darkness! already what was it touch'd me? |
| I thought my lover had gone, else darkness and he are one, |
| I hear the heart-beat, I follow, I fade away. |
| I descend my western course, my sinews are flaccid, |
| Perfume and youth course through me and I am their wake. |
| It is my face yellow and wrinkled instead of the old woman's, |
|
I sit low in a straw-bottom chair and carefully darn my grandson's
stockings. |
|
It is I too, the sleepless widow looking out on the winter mid-
night, |
| I see the sparkles of starshine on the icy and pallid earth. |
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A shroud I see and I am the shroud, I wrap a body and lie in the
coffin, |
|
It is dark here under ground, it is not evil or pain here, it is blank
here, for reasons. |
|
(It seems to me that every thing in the light and air ought to be
happy, |
|
Whoever is not in his coffin and the dark grave let him know he
has enough.) |
|
I see a beautiful gigantic swimmer swimming naked through the
eddies of the sea, |
|
His brown hair lies close and even to his head, he strikes out with
courageous arms, he urges himself with his legs, |
| I see his white body, I see his undaunted eyes, |
|
I hate the swift-running eddies that would dash him head-
fore-
most on the rocks. |
| What are you doing you ruffianly red-trickled waves? |
|
Will you kill the courageous giant? will you kill him in the prime
of his middle age? |
| Steady and long he struggles, |
|
He is baffled, bang'd, bruis'd, he holds out while his strength holds
out, |
|
The slapping eddies are spotted with his blood, they bear him
away, they roll him, swing him, turn him, |
|
His beautiful body is borne in the circling eddies, it is continually
bruis'd on rocks, |
| Swiftly and out of sight is borne the brave corpse. |
| I turn but do not extricate myself, |
| Confused, a past-reading, another, but with darkness yet. |
| The beach is cut by the razory ice-wind, the wreck-guns sound, |
| The tempest lulls, the moon comes floundering through the drifts. |
|
I look where the ship helplessly heads end on, I hear the burst as
she strikes, I hear the howls of dismay, they grow fainter and fainter. |
| I cannot aid with my wringing fingers, |
|
I can but rush to the surf and let it drench me and freeze
upon me. |
|
I search with the crowd, not one of the company is wash'd to us
alive, |
|
In the morning I help pick up the dead and lay them in rows in
a barn. |
| Now of the older war-days, the defeat at Brooklyn, |
|
Washington stands inside the lines, he stands on the intrench'd
hills amid a crowd of officers, |
| His face is cold and damp, he cannot repress the weeping drops, |
|
He lifts the glass perpetually to his eyes, the color is blanch'd from
his cheeks, |
|
He sees the slaughter of the southern braves confided to him by
their parents. |
| The same at last and at last when peace is declared, |
|
He stands in the room of the old tavern, the well-belov'd soldiers
all pass through, |
| The officers speechless and slow draw near in their turns, |
|
The chief encircles their necks with his arm and kisses them on
the cheek, |
|
He kisses lightly the wet cheeks one after another, he shakes
hands and bids good-by to the army. |
|
Now what my mother told me one day as we sat at dinner
together, |
|
Of when she was a nearly grown girl living home with her parents
on the old homestead. |
| A red squaw came one breakfast-time to the old homestead, |
|
On her back she carried a bundle of rushes for rush-bottoming
chairs, |
|
Her hair, straight, shiny, coarse, black, profuse, half-envelop'd her
face, |
|
Her step was free and elastic, and her voice sounded exquisitely
as she spoke. |
| My mother look'd in delight and amazement at the stranger, |
|
She look'd at the freshness of her tall-borne face and full and
pliant limbs, |
| The more she look'd upon her she loved her, |
| Never before had she seen such wonderful beauty and purity, |
|
She made her sit on a bench by the jamb of the fireplace, she
cook'd food for her, |
|
She had no work to give her, but she gave her remembrance and
fondness. |
|
The red squaw staid all the forenoon, and toward the middle of
the afternoon she went away, |
| O my mother was loth to have her go away, |
|
All the week she thought of her, she watch'd for her many a
month, |
| She remember'd her many a winter and many a summer, |
| But the red squaw never came nor was heard of there again. |
|
A show of the summer softness—a contact of something unseen
—an amour of the light and air, |
| I am jealous and overwhelm'd with friendliness, |
| And will go gallivant with the light and air myself. |
| O love and summer, you are in the dreams and in me, |
|
Autumn and winter are in the dreams, the farmer goes with his
thrift, |
| The droves and crops increase, the barns are well-fill'd. |
| Elements merge in the night, ships make tacks in the dreams, |
| The sailor sails, the exile returns home, |
|
The fugitive returns unharm'd, the immigrant is back beyond
months and years, |
|
The poor Irishman lives in the simple house of his childhood
with the well-known neighbors and faces, |
|
They warmly welcome him, he is barefoot again, he forgets he is
well off, |
|
The Dutchman voyages home, and the Scotchman and Welshman
voyage home, and the native of the Mediterranean voy- ages home, |
| To every port of England, France, Spain, enter well-fill'd ships, |
|
The Swiss foots it toward his hills, the Prussian goes his way, the
Hungarian his way, and the Pole his way, |
| The Swede returns, and the Dane and Norwegian return. |
| The homeward bound and the outward bound, |
|
The beautiful lost swimmer, the ennuyé, the onanist, the female
that loves unrequited, the money-maker, |
|
The actor and actress, those through with their parts and those
waiting to commence, |
|
The affectionate boy, the husband and wife, the voter, the nominee
that is chosen and the nominee that has fail'd, |
| The great already known and the great any time after to-day, |
| The stammerer, the sick, the perfect-form'd, the homely, |
|
The criminal that stood in the box, the judge that sat and sen-
tenced him, the fluent lawyers, the jury, the audience, |
|
The laugher and weeper, the dancer, the midnight widow, the red
squaw, |
| The consumptive, the erysipalite, the idiot, he that is wrong'd, |
| The antipodes, and every one between this and them in the dark, |
| I swear they are averaged now—one is no better than the other, |
| The night and sleep have liken'd them and restored them. |
| I swear they are all beautiful, |
|
Every one that sleeps is beautiful, every thing in the dim light is
beautiful, |
| The wildest and bloodiest is over, and all is peace. |
| Peace is always beautiful, |
| The myth of heaven indicates peace and night. |
| The myth of heaven indicates the soul, |
|
The soul is always beautiful, it appears more or it appears less, it
comes or it lags behind, |
|
It comes from its embower'd garden and looks pleasantly on
itself and encloses the world, |
|
Perfect and clean the genitals previously jetting, and perfect and
clean the womb cohering, |
|
The head well-grown proportion'd and plumb, and the bowels and
joints proportion'd and plumb. |
| The soul is always beautiful, |
| The universe is duly in order, every thing is in its place, |
| What has arrived is in its place and what waits shall be in its place, |
| The twisted skull waits, the watery or rotten blood waits, |
|
The child of the glutton or venerealee waits long, and the child
of the drunkard waits long, and the drunkard himself waits long, |
|
The sleepers that lived and died wait, the far advanced are to go
on in their turns, and the far behind are to come on in their turns, |
|
The diverse shall be no less diverse, but they shall flow and unite
—they unite now. |
| The sleepers are very beautiful as they lie unclothed, |
|
They flow hand in hand over the whole earth from east to west as
they lie unclothed, |
|
The Asiatic and African are hand in hand, the European and
American are hand in hand, |
|
Learn'd and unlearn'd are hand in hand, and male and female are
hand in hand, |
|
The bare arm of the girl crosses the bare breast of her lover, they
press close without lust, his lips press her neck, |
|
The father holds his grown or ungrown son in his arms with meas-
ureless love, and the son holds the father in his arms with measureless love, |
|
The white hair of the mother shines on the white wrist of the
daughter, |
|
The breath of the boy goes with the breath of the man, friend is
inarm'd by friend, |
|
The scholar kisses the teacher and the teacher kisses the scholar,
the wrong'd is made right, |
|
The call of the slave is one with the master's call, and the master
salutes the slave, |
|
The felon steps forth from the prison, the insane becomes sane,
the suffering of sick persons is reliev'd, |
|
The sweatings and fevers stop, the throat that was unsound is
sound, the lungs of the consumptive are resumed, the poor distress'd head is free, |
|
The joints of the rheumatic move as smoothly as ever, and
smoother than ever, |
| Stiflings and passages open, the paralyzed become supple, |
|
The swell'd and convuls'd and congested awake to themselves in
condition, |
|
They pass the invigoration of the night and the chemistry of the
night, and awake. |
| I too pass from the night, |
| I stay a while away O night, but I return to you again and love you. |
| Why should I be afraid to trust myself to you? |
| I am not afraid, I have been well brought forward by you, |
|
I love the rich running day, but I do not desert her in whom I lay
so long, |
|
I know not how I came of you and I know not where I go with
you, but I know I came well and shall go well. |
| I will stop only a time with the night, and rise betimes, |
| I will duly pass the day O my mother, and duly return to you. |